*drum rolling
...SOMETHING...
haha...
Now the something,
Well writing really isn't my thing, I meant, I do like to write but just random stuff, and I DO love to write literally with a PEN on a piece of PAPER. The idea of "writing" with your computer really is, yet to catch up with me. Halloooo, I am 19, just 19. Still young I suppose.
Then then what prompted me to do so, something so out of ordinary? (got meh? where got?)
Well I can't deny that those who neglect the Internet are doing so at their own peril, but I SUPPOSE that by utilizing the Internet as a tool to get information is, well in it self, good enough. Not to mention the amount of "information" one can get from the Internet. bla..bla...bla
(see that is what i meant my random stuff, point taken!)
One of the hardest question that I had and have been there for so long, is well, the matter of the heart (emo emo). I can't really get myself right, I don't really know what I feel, I can make decision with logic but logic's are not particularly useful in this case. I can't really make sense something that is senseless? Was it the question of family that causes such conflicts? Well for some reason, I really admire those family who allows their kids to date someone, from a different race, not being racist here but I doubt that its plausible in this family of mine to date someone of lesser family background (education, status etc) let alone those of the same kind.
I can't compare thee to the summer day like Shakespeare do cause for your information, its damn hot in Malaysia, and its not pleasant to relate someone to the rain neither does cloudy days sounds appealing, but then again, what if I do like cloudy days? or rain or thunderstorm? Its subjective, something personal. I can;t express my feeling to someone that I like because its not the right thing to do (so the society dictates) but what can I do? This is not America, we don't have private life here, freedom of expression does not exist here, we all live the way society expected us to live-go to school, college, get a degree, work, get married, have kids, be successful, live happy live, retire, live happier live and die. So sad... What makes us different from rabbits? or monkeys or hyenas?-We human can think-so do monkeys (how to peel a banana)-We socialise-so do hyenas.
Perhaps the only thing that separate the man from the beast we are is the ability to have complex feelings, love? perhaps, I wont be surprise if someday some joker come up with a research that shows that animals do "experience" complex feelings just that they lack the ability to express themselves. Well was it? or merely because we human beings-lord over all creation-cant even understand the minds of those beast we lord over? We build nations and Empires, we conquer vast land and oceans alike, we build great cities and vast farmland, all to satisfied not our need but our greed, but then, was it really greed or was it "development"? No one can stop a seed that falls on good soil to sprout and grew into a big tree, no one can stop a nation that builds itself on good ground and grew itself great.
"Development"-does it merely affect the thinking of man? what about their feelings? I cant understand feelings of beast let alone human being. Its strange to have a feeling for someone and not being able to express it, because 1. society doesn't want us to act abnormal. 2. we have yet developed the ability to "express" feelings of "higher complexity". Who is it that dictates the feelings and though of others? To clean their ass, they create such illusion as, "well, you can think but you cannot do". Well isn't thinking = things half done? Surely you do think before you do anything rite?
I, a law abiding citizen shall sacrifice its own desire for the benefit of society as a whole, but then again, if society is constantly force to reconsider its own desire in order to "fit in", does it really matter to continue on as a society? Law and rules are there to protect not to harm, but if the law and rules do more harm than it protects, aren't it the time to change it? We are reluctant because once again, feeling and thoughts are personal not objectives, they are subject to change without a prior notice. Some have argued, changes must take place slow enough so that they society would not explode, well then, who are you to dictate again? If changes are not allowed, it will be like a bomb being exploded inside a steel canister, sometimes it holds, some times its slightly dented, sometimes its blew itself apart. Changes must take place but not till it harness enough energy to causes a revolution, you fool, a demonstration is by no means an expression of discontent, to fight explosion is not to add more layer of steel to the steel canister but to open its cover so that the canister would not be obliterated completely, or perhaps a better way is to allow changes, to allow the charges being removed and being divert of its energy to do something useful, remove mountains anyone?
Then again I will not fight to change others but will strive to change myself, it changes nothing but to myself, it makes a difference...
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