Trying to decide on the reason which makes me come to the place I am at now if of no merit. For I could not vaguely remember nor recall the precise moment when I say "YES". Doing something that is so remote and unrelated to what my life nor interest had in place were of a scary thought. Yet, I stumble and fall along the way but never give up. I had consider rather seriously in the early days about quitting. Yet, something in the corner of my heart that makes me carry on. I wonder why...

Feeling like a lone ranger in the Pantanal looking hopelessly for any sign of civilization, hours and days passes by. Some felt like moments, others seem to hangs on for eternity. Hopping from one fazendas to another, always with the false hope of salvation. A mere ranch in the middle of nowhere, Bolivia perhaps? I do not know where will I be tomorrow, neither do I know where was I yesterday. The day were barely enough for its selfish own.

Was told that cappuccino can only be taken before 10, and that espresso were fine throughout the day, I would stick to my kopi kurang manis satu. Of maybe teh tarik for that matter, che chong fun were a big no no, yet clay pot yee min taste equally bland, perhaps pan mee? Am sick of it for now. Lobbying hard to have my name pressed in cold hard steel, one that I could proudly show to folks back home.

Another precious few moment wasted here, yet I know that this would not be the last, neither could I say when would I be back. Later? tomorrow? next week?...